I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
