Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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