My hair reeks of homosexuality.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
