yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I am one with the molecules
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
