We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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