To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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