I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So many bounce houses so little time
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
