I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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