I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
