OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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