did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
