Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
