...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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