Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
