Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
