Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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