fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
