You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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