thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
