Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
