No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
nutella sex= disaster
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
