and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
