whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
