It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
