She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
