Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
