If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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