somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Randomize
