i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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