His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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