my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
