Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
