About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
