When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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