i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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