textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She announced her abortion via fbk
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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