We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
