I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
barbara walters just said penis...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
