WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
