The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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