Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
