I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
