My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
