Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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