Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i dont even know how to be here
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
