What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
