Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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