Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
