Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Randomize
