Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
