9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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