Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
