Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
