ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
