I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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